Here is a link to a slideshow Mark put together for my mom's memorial sevice--warning, it has music, so if you're at work, turn it down :-)
http://home.comcast.net/~mtubesing/page_video.html

My mom went to be with the Lord at 3:30 this morning. I am very sad and I know I will be even sadder in the days, weeks, months and years to come, but I am also relieved that she has left her exhausted body and that I will see her again one day.

Jake made my mom this sign when she came home from the hospital for a few days last week and it means even more now. She is finally home.


From my dad:
Page's memorial service will be at 10:00 a.m. on Wednesday, November 25, at Dunwoody United Methodist Church, 1548 Mt. Vernon Rd., Dunwoody, GA 30338. A reception will follow in the Fellowship Hall.

In lieu of flowers, you can make a donation to Friends of Refugees, Attn: Page Walden Memorial Fund, P.O. Box 548, Clarkston, GA 30021, OR to any charity of your choice.

.........

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:3-9

My dad posted an update on my mom this morning. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/pagewalden/journal
She is breathing more slowly now.
It is really hard to just let someone die. It seems so wrong, and I wonder if that is because when God first created people, we weren't meant to die, or to be separated from God...and our whole lives we are wanting to get back to that state of eternal union with God.
"The sense that in this universe we
are treated as strangers, the longing to be
acknowledged, to meet with some
response, to bridge some chasm that yawns
between us and reality, is part of our
inconsolable secret. And surely, from this
point of view, the promise of glory, in the
sense described, becomes highly relevant to
our deep desire. For glory meant good
report with God, acceptance by God,
response, acknowledgment, and welcome
into the heart of things. The door on
which we have been knocking all our lives
will open at last."
from The Weight of Glory, an essay by CS Lewis.
I used to really love this essay but now that I have 4 kids I honestly can't concentrate enough to read the things I used to be able to read. But I recommend it for thoughts on existence and heaven.


Here we are on the Great Wall in China in 2005.

My mom is still resting comfortably at Hospice Atlanta (a wonderful place, as much as it can be...) She is basically in a coma, sleeping soundly all the time because of her liver toxicity and likely the brain mets. It is such a kindness that she is quiet and pain free. I did ask the boys last night if they wanted to visit her and they said no. They already told her "I love you" and "goodbye" when she was still home this past weekend. Landon said he doesn't like to see Mimi that way. I agree! I have never seen my mom so still in her whole life. I visited my dad there this morning and then brought the girls back later today. They like to rub mom's feet and Hope always gives her a kiss. Hope was insistent to see the doctor today, I think to see who is taking care of Mimi. As I think on it, Hope only saw my mom maybe 10 times or less but my mom already made a big impression on her.

I think some people must have been praying for peace for us because we have it (okay, at least a lot of the time). In some ways it feels like a calm before a storm but it is so nice to be able to rest in Him, at least some every day.

And, I have such good friends!!! Thank you for all the emails, comments, Facebook comments and phone calls. It is truly great to know you are there standing alongside us. Food is coming in :-)

I feel like this verse shows something about my mom:

From 1 Timothy 6:
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

also not to get preachy but just have to say what "the life" is and why mom will not truly die, it's my blog anyway, right :-) ?,
from John 11
Jesus said..."I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies"

I hardly cried today (for once!!) until I started looking at some old pictures and thinking how much my mom (and dad) has served me and my family over the years.

Here we are at the 2 day breast cancer walk in 2006

My mom was moved to Hospice today and is now completely unresponsive. I visited for a bit tonight with my mom's good friends and my dad and it was actually a very nice time together. I can't believe that in one week I have gone from thinking my mom might make it to her 63rd birthday in March to knowing that her time on Earth can likely be counted in days. But she is a person who can honestly leave this place with no regrets--there is nothing she wishes she had done (because she has done it all!), no person she wishes she had spent time with (because that's what she does with her time) and no sale she wishes she had gone to :-). She is definitely a light in this world. I am so glad that this is happening quickly and painlessly for her. It is still hard. But I know that she knows the Lord and that makes all the difference.


This is from June 2004 when she carried the Olympic torch for part of the Atlanta stretch.

Just a quick update--I went to see my mom yesterday at their house and today Mark and I took all the kids. She is pretty much sleeping all the time. Today she opened her eyes a bit and did recognize me, but the rest of the time we were trying to get her to talk to the kids she was not even really focusing her eyes when she would open them. I am glad the kids got to see her. I do think she can hear us because every now and then we get an appropriate nod or hand squeeze and she told her friend "bye" and said "hi Katy". Today her friend asked if she wanted to listen to Bruce Springsteen and she got a BIG hand squeeze so that was put on pretty loud for her!

Hope was so amazing. I was kind of worried since we still can't talk much about abstact stuff and I didn't know if she would understand. She was the least afraid and the most interested in my mom. She gave her a kiss (so did Lilla) and brought her a special toy and left it on her bed. At one point me, dad, Mark and all the kids were standing around Mom's bed talking and Hope said "Pray Mimi?" and did her praying hands. We asked if she wanted to pray for Mimi and she said yes. So I said okay, good idea. She got a little shy and hid behind me but she prayed in her special way "God, thank you Mimi, Mimi feel better, granddaddy, daddy, mommy, Jake, Landon, Lilla, Hope SongYi Amen." It was so sweet and special and brought tears to our eyes.

Please continue to pray for wisdom regarding my mom's care and her comfort.

You Never Let Go
by Matt Redman

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You


I have been listening to this song about 5 times a day and I find it very reassuring.
So, my mom came home from the hospital yesterday and my brother and I and Jake helped get her settled. As you may have read on the CaringBridge page, she is VERY weak and my dad will definitely be looking at getting extra care for her.

Thank you for all the emails and offers of help. We currently have the added complication of sick kids, but I will email out when we have a definite need for childcare or anything. We have had a few meals delivered and offered and I accepted, so that has been really nice.
It is honestly just very humbling to be in this place, but I am currently trying to embrace the words of Paul from 2 Corinthians 12:
But he (God) said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Just please keep praying for my mom to be free from pain and perhaps have some clarity of thought come back to her.


This picture is from December 2008 when mom and I took Lilla to see the Nutcracker.

This one was taken in September--my kids with my mom and dad.


I will just say it...unfortunately, the test results show that my mom now has tumors in her brain. I can't remember if I have told about her history, but she first had breast cancer in 1990, pretty aggressive. But after completing treatment, she was perfectly healthy! She had 11 years with no signs of cancer. In 2001, she found out that she had metastatic breast cancer in her liver. She survived MANY treatments and even had a kidney removed at one point (not cancer) and she had many months, even years where she felt great and for awhile the doctors saw no cancer in her liver at all. So for over 8 years she has beaten it back and even when she didn't feel great, never let cancer stop her from living. On October 4 of this year she walked 10 miles in a breast cancer walk! All that to say, I am very sad about this news but if anyone defies statistics, it is my mom. I am posting more details on her Caring Bridge page, which is the best place to check for updates. Thanks for praying.


...in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
From Romans 8:

Update on Mom

Hi all-
I just posted an update on my mom at her CaringBridge site. She has been admitted to the hospital after not feeling well at all for a few weeks. Prayers appreciated:
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/pagewalden

Here is a picture of her with the boys in St. Simon's taken in August while we were in China.

More pictures

Hope and Lilla always play outside when it rains!



Jake's baseball season is over.



Hope and Lilla in and on the playset



Halloween-we had a scientist, a cockroach, a princess and a flapper!

Oh gosh, slacking again!

Jake and Landon had a piano recital last night. They did great! I can't believe they have been playing just 3 years (J) and 1 year (L). Believe me, it does not come from me! Hope and Lilla stayed with a friend, first time for that for Hope and it was great, I am guessing because of my skilled friend and her sweet girls. I had taken H to visit their house last week and she loved it, so drop off yesterday was very smooth. But when I came to pick them up, she was out the door like a flash, running to our car, just for insurance, I am guessing. Like, whew you came back that was fun let's get out of here!

Hope is talking so much. Let me try to think of some of her phrases (she still adds Wo--I-- and --Wo bu-- I don't, to a lot of her words)...
-Mommy hand cold!
-noodle yummy
-Wo I do it!
-what is it? (thank goodness--I am so tired of hearing "jiga?" her word for what's this?)
-more please
thank you
-sorry, Lilla (used a lot!)
-wo yao school! (I want school!)
-Hello Kitty shoes, where are you? (they are always lost)
-I don't know
-hmmm, let's see (done with a very cute, hammed-up hand on chin)
-that mine!
-Lilla be quiet!
-wo bu tired!
-daddy working
-mommy rest time?
-no more fishy (he died, and wow, try to explain THAT to someone who doesn't know about death and doesn't speak much English)
-trick or treat!

and she knows LOTS of words--
socks, apple, water, cracker, candy, hungry, car, driving, timer, later, tomorrow, not now (ha ha we are into delayed gratification), bath, soap, toothbrush, Stripes (our guinea pig), paper, cut, bandaid, stinky, jacket, pants, hair, brush teeth, toothpaste, floss (she loves floss), piano, loud, unbuckle, cold, hot, yucky, window, open, sit down, go away, stand up, book, TV, movie, flower, wait, clean up, mommy's room, and many more!

Mark and I take turns putting the girls to bed and a few nights ago I had Hope. She can REALLY drag out bedtime and make one book take about a year to read, so by the time we got to the song, I was TIRED. She wanted me to sing first, so I sang the ABC song. She was really wiggling and trying to get away from me, when usually that is a cuddly time. So finally I just let her go. So she sat beside me and told me to sing it "one more time" and it was easier to comply than argue (wow, that happens a lot these days) so I sang it again and she danced and clapped and joined in like crazy. It was So funny. Then she said "my turn" and she jumped up and stood in front of me and sang "A, B Chee! A, B, Chee! A, B, Chee!!!!!" and then she motioned for ME to dance (so again, easier to comply...) and she pretended she was holding a microphone and I danced and she sang "A, B Chee" over and over. I was laughing so hard!

So, generally things are going well, and Lilla is mostly rising to the very difficult task of being a big sister. She has grown up a lot these past few weeks. Mostly. She is doing really well at school and enjoying her class of 10 (with 2 teachers!) She probably gets more one on one time at school than home these days.

My mom is not feeling well at all. She will have a new PET scan November 10 and she and her doctor will make a decision about a possible new chemo. I know she is so sicka nd tired of being sick and tired (off and on). She is amazing and really makes and effort to keep on having fun and making life enjoyable for others. Please pray for her.

Well, I guess a short update is better than none, right? Let me go see if I can find some pictures.


out to eat with cousin Riley


Mark took Jake and Landon to the GA State Fair




Mark also took Jake and Landon camping with the Cub Scouts