More info on the Waiting Child program

I have had a lot of people ask me questions about the waiting child program. Basically, it is children with mostly minor medical needs, some more severe, but I guess that is very subjective. The most common needs are cleft lip/cleft palate, heart issues like VSD and ASD, orthopedic needs like club foot, missing fingers and toes, missing limbs (partial or total) and many other things you can read more about here if you're REALLY interested.

We filled out a checklist of needs we felt comfortable with, and we requested a girl, aged 1-4 years old. So when it's our turn, our agency will match us from a list they receive from China, and we will get a medical file and a picture we can email to a doctor to review for us. And we will have EIGHT HOURS to accept or reject the referral. Yes, 8 hours. Some people are really specific in what they request, but we opted for a broader range. I have been busy researching the various medical needs and while I do not feel I could ever be prepared for everything, I know we will be able because Christ is able.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Phillipians 4:12-13

Now, I don't really think I know what it is to be in need physically. But I do know spiritual, emotional need and have tried to fill myself in many ways, none working too well for long. And I know that having a child (adopting or giving birth) magnifies that need because as a parent I often have no clue whatsoever what I am doing! I see my lacking oh so clearly! And now we are planning to adopt a child we don't know, whose condition won't be truly known until we meet her. I have started to realize that it is not the particular condition that is scary to me, rather the fact that we have no control whatsoever over this child's personality, past, experiences and current care. But please do pray she is being well cared for. She is very likely already born, since most children are one year old at the very youngest and we expect to travel some time in 2009.

In any case, all I can rely on is Christ. It is he who fills the need, he who gives strength when I need it, he who will provide.

I'll add a cute Lilla story here--she is very interested in figuring out where "the baby" will sleep. Side note, I am tryng to encourage her to call our next (and yes, last) daughter mei-mei, which means "little sister" in Chinese. Because I think Lilla would really like a baby who takes a bottle and will do whatever she tells her to do, but more likely, it will be a toddler. I don't want her to be disappointed that she may be getting someone who fights back!

Anyway, we have our old crib (funny I never got rid of that!) and a trundle bed, either of which will go in Lilla's room. Here's our exchange from the other day.
Lilla: I want the baby to sleep in my bed.
Katy: Well, probably not IN your bed. maybe on the trundle beside your bed.
Lilla: But how will I reach her to kiss her before bed at night?
(Awww...conversation continued, me misty-eyed...)
Katy: You can just kiss her before you get in bed and then climb over.
Lilla: Okay, but if she wakes up and cries at night, I will sing her a song. And if she still cries, THEN she can get in bed with me.
(Awww....)

The beginning (and an update on my mom)

We are thrilled to share with everyone what has been going on with us--mainly that we are working on adopting again!

So, what are we doing? Why are we doing it? When did this happen?! Here’s a little insight into how we came to pursue the adoption of our 4th child.

Back in 2001, when Landon was born, Mark and I were certain we were meant to be parents of two adorable (and personality-filled) sons. They came to us the “easy” way, that is by birth, unless you are the one giving birth. But it was worth it and we were completely satisfied and overwhelmed with our newborn Landon and 2 year old Jake.

But a few years later, I started feeling like we were wrong. And I hear people say this all the time and before it happened to me I might have been skeptical. But the truth is, God put a little girl from China on my heart. And thankfully he later put the same thing on Mark’s heart. And now we have Lilla home with us. Her story is here.

If I am being completely truthful, which happens from time to time, I felt that we would have another child from China. And I thought this the whole time we were in China with Lilla. And a few months later, I told Mark about this thought. He did not concur. We love our children but sometimes 3 kids gets kind of messy and loud. And whiny. And time consuming. And did I mention messy?

So I tried to just enjoy the ones I was with, but every few months we would talk about adopting again. Mostly I would talk really. But over time, we started talking more about “when” instead of “if.” And the wait for China got longer and longer. And then Lilla started asking when were going back to China for a baby sister. She started praying about a baby and pretending her toys were sisters. Adopting again kind of became inevitable.

Because of the long wait, and meeting people both in person and online who had adopted a child through the Waiting Child program, I started to research adopting a child with a medical need. I looked back in an old journal the other day and in October 2005 I had written “SN? What issues?” meaning, was a special needs adoption in our future. I guess God had already planted that seed, forgotten by me but he was watering it.

And what had once seemed so scary with our other 3 kids (Will there be anything wrong with them? What if something is wrong with them?!) now seemed like it was meant to be a part of our life, something we not only could do but were called to do. A few verses kept coming to my mind:

“…For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6

It just reminded me that God has a plan for us and our children, and it is not my problem to have everything figured out and tied up neatly with a bow.

So thankfully my wonderful husband was also open to adopting a child with a medical need and so we did a little more research and talked a little more and found an agency we liked. And we did a little more research and submitted an application and a checklist with the needs we felt comfortable considering for our family. On Friday, September 19, we were accepted by FTIA.

And thus concludes (and starts, I guess) an amazing journey.

The timeline is not too predictable based on several variables, but we expect to be in China sometime in 2009!

Please pray for our little girl, who has probably already been born!

I also hope to have brief updates on my mom on here, who was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1990, and is now in year 7 of living with metastatic breast cancer. She’s an 18 year survivor! As of now, her most recent scan looks good and shows improvement, so she will continue with the chemo she is on. Praise God for that and keep on praying.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14