Monday, August 31, 2009

Mark: It's Tuesday morning and I think Baba has officially been downgraded from Most Favored Parent status... Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. :) As Katy told another family at breakfast this morning, we are officially out of the Honeymoon Period. (K: It's like okay, now we're together forever, let's deal with it!) She is still very sweet, but definitely acting at least a year younger than her real age. She is testing more and more and becoming defiant at times - like trying to get her dressed before breakfast. Suddenly, all the clothes that she picked out at the store are no longer what she wants to wear... It's typical 5 or 4-year old girl behavior, but since we can't communicate and explain rationally, it sometimes makes the "stand-offs" last a bit longer. We expected this (and actually, potentially much worse) so it's no surprise.

(K: I don't think he's been downgraded, I think she is just checking to see what happens if she gives us the cold shoulder--do we give it back? We don't. In fact just 2 nights ago I was holding her and she said Mama Ai Wo, Baba Ai Wo, which means Mama loves me, Daddy loves me. I think she feels good with us but is just acting normal. I think how bratty would most kids seem sometimes especially when you don't know them, or what they've been through or even what they are saying! But I have had to put her down and not carry her a few times because she has pulled my hair or flicked me in the face. I just put her down and say No Hurts! Ouch! And get her to say Sorry even though she doesn't know the word, she understands what is going on. We have also realized that when she is hungry she gets very squirrely, so we have to watch that.)

We're nearing the end of the trip and we're all feeling restless and ready to be home. Some consistency in schedule and routine would help Song Yi and would definitely be good for Lilla, too. We're getting a bit stir-crazy being in the same hotel for 11 nights with only so many things to distract and keep two girls busy... We hate to complain, but we're ready to leave our suite at this resort. :) Time to be home.

K: PLEASE Pray for us on the trip home. It is a very long trip, even longer than our way over since we have to fly Guangzhou to Beijing with a few hours' layover before we even get to the Beijing-Chicago-Atlanta portion. It is weird to think that Song Yi probably won't even be speaking much Chinese this time next year (we'll try, but historically, most kids don't keep their language). We are taking her from what she knows and I know it is meant to be but I do feel a certain amount of guilt.

M: This afternoon, we will have our US Consulate appointment where we make an oath to care for our adopted child and to love them as our own. We do this with our whole travel group. It's a very official step, but from the same experience with Lilla, it's a lot of formality and a lot of effort (waiting, walking, waiting) for the process. In the meantime, once again, we are faced with the question of "so - what do we do now?" Thankfully, as I'm looking out the window, I see pretty clear skies (as clear as they get in this city, anyway) - so maybe the pool will be a good option today. We may need to shop again to get rid of some of our Yuan since we can't convert back to $US. What a quandry! How will I ever spend all this money?? :)

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Hi all--Katy here. It's nap time and we hear two sets of snoring even though there has been a storm going on for the last hour. (Mark: storm - more like monsoon. I looked out the window and all I saw was the white of blowing, howling wind, rain and lightning.) Lilla and Song Yi both sleep pretty soundly. Once they fall asleep that is...last night they were laughing and chatting in here until about 10pm. They seem to be interacting more and entertaining themselves together. Lilla is doing a very good job of standing her ground but being kind. Yesterday (Saturday) we walked around the hotel after breakfast and Song Yi kept trying to drag me somewhere so finally I just followed her and she led us all the way out to the pool. She started taking her clothes off to get in! I had to tell her that she could not swim until after she saw the doctor. I am not sure of the exact rules or how it would even be known that we let her swim, but we are not taking that risk! They said no swimming until after the appointment Saturday, so we obey. I think they have thoughts about shots and pools. It wouldn't surprise me--no putting your towel on the towel table, no shirts in the water, no sitting on the steps, no cameras, no outside food, no floats in the big pool...so many rules that are strictly enforced. ANYWAY, she was very sad about that and we got two different workers to explain to her in Chinese that we could swim later. She finally unhappily went back inside with us and we went to our appointment. On the way, a very kind shop owner said he would pray for Hope and her eyes.

After the appointment (TB test/x-ray good, we said already I think! Yea!) we went swimming of course. Song Yi was sooo happy. Then we ate lunch, napped and went back to the pool but it started raining really hard so we came back up and let her take a really long bath. Since Lilla is a big girl now, she said she prefers the shower. We let them do dry erase marker on the wipe off boards I brought, but after the no-mess of Color Wonder, it was too crazy trying to keep them sitting and writing only on the boards so we had to put that away. Our Beijing travel group is back together again (Mark: quick explanation: families travel to the province of their child's orphanage and then all American families have to exit China via Guangzhou. Since Song Yi's orphanage was here in Guangdong province, we have been here the whole time.) so most of us went to dinner. It rained again so we just went to Lucy's next door. Song Yi was pouty about something and took my menu and proceeded to point to every item and say she did not like it! In the end she was fine and we had a good dinner. Lilla didn't eat much of her food, and Song Yi picked each and every piece of onion and cabbage out of her noodles and then proceeded to eat all of Lilla's leftover fries - careful to dip each one in ketchup. What have we done?! She also asks for Coke now when we see it but we only let them have a sip or two. (Mark: I wanted to take a picture of Song Yi taking a huge swig of Coke from a bottle to send back to the orphanage, but that would probably be cruel... ;) )

Back at the room, we tried to get them settled down to watch a Kai Lan video, but Song Yi was playing and annoying Lilla so Mark took her to the other room to read a book. It was a book called Goodnight Gorilla that we love. She chattered and chattered. Mark said she was comparing how long the giraffe's neck was to the other animals. (Mark: She loves to look at books and she will actually sit and allow someone to read to her. She had a great time looking at each page. It's such a nice break from some other 5-year-old I know who has the book reading attention span of a crack-addicted flea.)

This morning we went to breakfast and Lilla wore her new fancy pink dress and black patent (pleather?) shoes. No dresses for Song Yi! Song Yi ate SO much of the salty veggie in her congee, along with bacon, banana, watermelon, a yogurt and OJ. We sat for an hour waiting for her to be done. Then we met up with our very sweet guide and group for shopping. Very expensive government jade store (some same items I got with Ann for 4-5 times the price) was first. Song Yi told our guide her name is Song Yi and she doesn't like Hope. We have been trying to call her Hope Song Yi but she corrects me and says BAO Song Yi (BAO is the last name of all the kids from her orphanage). Oh well. We will try again later.

Today, in English, she said "You like it?" "Thank you baba" "Lilla potty?" "Wo yao water" and last night she said "Goodnight" (M: over and over as we read Goodnight Gorilla). Oh and how could I forget?! Last night when I put her to bed and said "wo ai ni" which means I love you, she said Wo ai ni back! That was a first. She still wipes off my kisses whenever she can. Mark says she doesn't wipe off his. Oh and she said "wo bu yao, xie xie" today, No Thank You and that is the first time I have heard her say thank you in Chinese.

She is still testing a good bit. This morning going to breakfast she wanted a piggy back ride so I gave her one. Then she whacked me in the head and took out her barrette and threw it. I put her down and said no hitting and showed her where her barrette went to she could pick it up. She gave her pout and crossed her arms and stood there. So I said pick up your barrette and we can finish the piggy back to breakfast and she walked away. I showed her (I am becoming quite the mime!) what I was saying and I knew she understood. So I just looked away and waited and after a few minutes she came over slowly and I could tell she was looking for the barrette so I showed her and she picked it up and handed it to me. So I gushed all over with thank you and picked her up and we went to breakfast. We have a few of those moments every day.

Really she is doing very well, and I can tell she trusts us and feels comfortable so we are trying not to start any bad habits of complete disobedience, hitting, grabbing and are trying to curb the screaming. She screams when she thinks she will fall in the potty (okay, I can understand that one), screams when Lilla touches her stuff, so we tell her to say No or wo bu yao instead. (Mark: hmmmm... I don't know about "screaming". That's what she did on day 1 at the civil affairs office. I haven't heard that noise since, thank goodness. I would call it whining or squealing.)

Today at the store, she picked out all kinds of things for her two ge ge's (big brothers). She made sure there was 2 of everything! I got one pack of gum, a strange flavor we don't have, to show them and she kept telling me something about the gum. I thought she wanted her own pack so for $.30 we were like, fine and we got another pack and she said ge ge, ge ge and held up the 2 packs, one for each. So sweet! One family in our group has 2 adorable boys about Jake and Landon's ages and she is fascinated by these boys. I think she will LOVE having Jake and Landon who are already quite experienced at being big brothers to a little sister.

Lilla really misses Jake and Landon too. She tells us all the time. Oh another funny thing, we were looking at pictures of Jake and Landon and she pointed to where we keep the computer! She wanted to Skype them. It was too late though and I tried to tell her they would be asleep. When we Skyped the other day, Landon was still sleeping but Jake was up, and Song Yi kept poking Jake on the computer screen trying to get his attention so he would look at her stuff. She showed him her photo album, glasses, phone and other things. It was really cute. We haven't been able to talk to Jake and Landon much because the girls are always mysteriously hard to manage right as we turn our attention from them....

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Mark: Thursday morning was the medical exam. Fortunately, Song Yi only needed 2 shots and the TB skin test. Helen told me that Song Yi cried for the TB test, but did not cry at all when she got the other 2 shots. (Katy: when Helen told her that all kids who go to America have to have these shots, she said "hau ah" not sure how to spell it, but it is like okay, right. And she didn't cry. But she showed me over and over her TWO shots and stickers and candy she got. All the nurses and doctors said she was very sweet and cooperative. She was not able to do the vision test because she didn't understand how to turn her hand to look like the picture. I think she can see well out of her eye though because she was stringing beads with no problem)

Friday, the keyword for the day was "SWEATY". I can't remember the last time I produced so much sweat in a single day. We started off the day with a visit to the Guangzhou City Zoo. As much as I was dreading the possibility of a really horrible city zoo, we were very pleasantly surprised. It was a beautiful park in the middle of the city and the animal habitats were very well maintained and kept. We got to see gorillas, monkeys, tigers, lions, bears, zebras, giraffes, and more. Song Yi was very excited to see all the animals. There was new drama as Helen had borrowed a stroller since we were very tired of carrying the Princess around everywhere. We had Helen explain to Song Yi in Chinese that mama and baba's arms were getting tired and it was too hot to carry her all day. She agreed to ride in the stroller. But... of course, the other family Princess wanted stroller time, too (although she barely can squeeze herself into one). So, we went back and forth with the Princesses taking turns in the stroller. By the end of our time at the zoo, we all had sweat dripping off of our faces and completely soaking our clothes.

Helen then had the driver take us to a noodle house near the zoo. Wow! Fresh-made noodles and dumplings - delicious! (Katy: I actually saw a place like this on Food Network or somewhere. They make the noodles several yards long for good luck). Like at the zoo, we didn't see any other white folk around, so we were the staring targets for the morning. (K: and being a restaurant not marketed to westerners--took 2 girls twice to the squatty potty--now that is a workout) We fought to keep the girls awake in the van as we drove back to the hotel. We put them down for a nap and Katy took off to go shopping with a guide. (K: Ann at Red Threads--all I can say is wow. I got about 25 jade pendants, 6 pairs jade earrings, 7 jade bead bracelets, 3 sets [necklace, earrings, bracelet] very good quality pearls, 5 lower quality pearl necklaces, 7 sets of pearl earrings, a mah jong set, chess set, wooden box, fortune sticks game and a cab ride for about $300--if you are going to China, put on your tennis shoes, get your list ready and try to keep up with her! I did not see one non-Chinese person where we were) When Katy came back from her shopping expedition (2 hours later), she was once again completely drenched in sweat. She had walked all the way back to the hotel from the shopping center carrying all her purchases. At least she brought us some popsicles from the convenience store (we found a cheap store - NOT the 7-11, where the Chinese people go. We can get 4 popsicles for 4 Yuan, not 4 Yuan each....a 20-oz Coke for 3.5 Yuan, about 50 cents... and maybe a 40-oz TsingTao for 4 Yuan.. :) ) . She decided to take a shower at that point (which was totally premature).

(K: yes it was because after some silly putty time, we went out to drop off our laundry and get another stroller--we learn fast! Then we walked to the playground and 5 minutes later we were about 5 pounds lighter--all sweat! After playing a bit, we went to eat at a Thai restaurant. So funny there were no white people there either. It was the theme for the day--please stare at us. It was delicious but we ordered way too much food. A cute grandma next to us made motions that she was so happy we had Lilla and Song Yi. She pointed to her heart and us and later asked Meiguo? Which is-America? And I said yes. It was very sweet. Speaking of grandmas we get so cracked up at Song Yi. She wears her slippers/flip flops around and will not set foot in the bathroom without them.

I am feeling for Lilla--we are trying to be sure Song Yi doesn't monopolize our time and attention. And I have been encouraging Lilla not to let her take things from her. For example in the bath tonight, Song Yi had 9 water bottles and Lilla had one and I asked Song Yi to share and she did but later she kept trying to take them back and I told Lilla to tell her NO. Okay, tired, girls asleep, going to bed!!)

Jake and Landon--we miss you! Have fun at the beach!!
Mark: Time for some more nap time photos. Also, quick update: Song Yi did have a positive reaction to the TB skin test, so we had to do the chest x-ray this morning. Thankfully, it went really well and she's all clear to come home! She was very excited, because it also means we get to swim in the pool again today!


We enjoyed our time at the Guangzhou Zoo with Helen (she's taking the picture, not in it...)


Clearly, she's not photogenic... :) Don't you just want to eat her up?


Mama went shopping and got 3 matching dresses (unfortunately, Song Yi will have nothing to do with hers) and pearls. Yes, those are real pearls for Lilla.


This was Mama's opportunity for a glamour shot. Shamian Island is full of beautiful big trees. Unfortunately for all of us, you just can't walk 5 steps without sweating profusely.


The pool attendants let us take pictures at the pool when it was closed and there were no other guests there. Lilla is hiding in the cave behind the waterfall at the pool. Not sure why she's carrying Lou around...


This park was behind the zoo. The name says it all. I really wanted to go, but we went to a yummy noodle shop instead. That's Happy World for me. :)

Friday, August 28, 2009

Mark: OK - we're really falling behind in our posts now. I think Katy wrote this 2 nights ago...

Ummmm so again typing on Word at 9:15 pm. I hope people don't mind reading all the details. I brought a journal but I dislike the physical act of writing (too slow) and haven't been writing anything in it. It's either here or my memory (shot). We went out to lunch after the pool and Lilla had peanut butter and jelly and fries and we found that Song Yi also likes fries and ketchup! She ate a ton of noodles and made sure to find all the baby shrimp. They had a good nap, but Song Yi woke up very sad. She didn't smile and actually got teary. Maybe she had a dream that reminded her of something. It is so hard sometimes not to be able to really talk to her. So we just sat near her and she finally perked up a bit later when she got a cookie :-) and then we had to go to the passport office (I think that was it--we handed over our passports and they gave us a red folder.) We saw a lot of the people who had been at the civil affairs office when we met Song Yi and everyone seemed happy to see us doing well. On two different occasions, people who were there that day have said that they prayed for us. So thankful!

Came back to the room for more crazy play. We played a very funny version of hide and seek in which we hid and Song Yi hid in the same spot about 5 times in a row. At one point, she hid in the bathtub and covered herself up with a towel. When she saw her leg was sticking out she grabbed a pair of shorts and laid them over her leg. But she was laughing so hard the whole time there was no mystery to where she was hiding. Lilla likes to just jump out and try to scare people so Song Yi actually liked that. We tried to color and calm them down but no go, so we just left and carried our laundry to one of the many stores. Song Yi bagged up some of the laundry and then carried a very heavy bag all the way to the laundry place. She looked like a little grandma staggering down the street. We ate at a good restaurant (unless it makes us sick) but their water smelled like the Pearl river, which sounds pretty but it isn't.

We decided today was turning into testing day, to see if we will say 'no' to her. Or maybe to see if we still like her when she is naughty. We will and we do. She tried various things like smearing soap all over the counter, running away and standing up in the van. She also started this tongue click thing that kind of goes with a "what you talkin' about Willis" kind of look, or a "you are soooo dumb" look. That is either when she is corrected or we don't understand her. It's kind of funny for now. I know once we understand each other better and we know she feels safe we will have some training to do. She is the type where she is so cute she is dangerous. (Mark: Landon, I'm looking at you...)

After that we walked to a little park where hooligans hang out (aka 12 year olds on skateboards with cigarettes), little kids play and adults exercise. Our YMCA used to have a large population of older Asian folks who would use the Cybex equipment with basically no weight on it and kind of chat and do about 8 reps of each thing. Now I know why! This place has outdoor exercise equipment that anyone can use and they all talk on the phones or to each other and just hang out sort of half heartedly exercising. Song Yi was walking more later on and she can walk fast contrary to the popular belief that she must be carried at all times.

Later in the room they strung beads on chenille stems (aka pipe cleaners) for quite some time. Song Yi made about 6 bracelets and was hiding them in a phone book. I showed her she had drawers she can put her things in and she liked that. She and Lilla were having trouble sharing the beads and at one point Lilla saw one that was "very special to her that she had bought with her own money" but I don't know about that. I think she is just feeling the strain of having to be patient. Finally (one Lilla meltdown later) Song Yi accidentally gave her the special item and we moved on. Song Yi absolutely would not put on her PJ's until she had a shower even though they had one after the pool today. That must have been part of their routine. She also has quite an elaborate hand washing and tooth brushing ritual. The tooth brushing involves using bottled water to wet the brush, squeezing on BY HERSELF thank you the exact right amount of paste, brushing and then rinsing and spitting several times followed by a drink. She often washes her hands up to her elbows like a surgeon and I saw a girl do that in the restroom today too.

Before bed she was looking for her sunglasses (because she must have her panda, IKEA bear, Barbie, cell phone and sunglasses in bed as well as her Minnie flip flops right nearby on the floor) and she got out the picture book we had sent her. That was the first time she looked at it since we met her even though it has been in her backpack the whole time. She named us all and then pointed to our pictures and to us. I do think she was well prepared by the orphanage, but just when the reality hit it was too hard. Now I feel like she acts like she knows us or maybe she met us before. She is not shy at all and I am really thankful for how she laughs, shares with us, plays and looks at us. You can tell she has been well cared for.

Okay, tomorrow medical exam. She will get some shots and they will do the TB skin test so please pray for all of that to go well.

(Mark: short update. She only needed 2 shots and we will find out tomorrow morning (Sat) if she needs a chest x-ray to confirm negative TB. Thankfully, there was no fever or side-effects from her 2 shots.)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Trying to post some pictures while the girls are napping...


Lilla loves the pink parasol that she got to buy!


Fast asleep clutching her most prized possession: the Princess cell phone


Some reading time. You would almost think that she could read the books with the amount of time she spent going through it. Note the sporty tattoo.


We call this "Ham with Bacon". Can you guess which is which? :) This is our view of the Pearl River as we enjoy the breakfast buffet each morning.


A sassy little pose


Baba with his babies

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Mark: As I'm posting this, Lilla is having a bedtime meltdown and Song Yi is staring at her like, 'What the $%^& is wrong with you?'

Katy:
Yesterday (Tuesday?) We woke up way too early, except for Song Yi, who we finally had to wake up at 7am. She reminds me of Landon, likes to sleep, but when she is on, she is ON and fun, silly, with maniacal laughter. But she can also sit and color for an hour, which reminds me of Jake (Landon can also concentrate and Jake can also be silly, fyi). And she likes girly things too, which is right up Lilla's alley. Meaning - she fits right in with us!

Yesterday she ate 2 bowls of congee with some kind of salty crunchy green vegetable she wanted mixed in. (Mark: I assumed yesterday that it was spinach, but I don't think it is now. We asked two different restaurant staff at the hotel that spoke fairly good English what it was and the best they could do was "Chinese vegetable". Thanks, that narrows it down... Katy wanted to know so she could cook something at home that she knew Song Yi enjoyed for breakfast. I'm not real sure I want my house to smell like that stuff cooking.) She eats very well, but tells us when she is done, which is good. After breakfast we looked at the fish in the lobby by the waterfall (yes, our hotel has a 3 story waterfall inside!) She kept saying WOW!! Lilla saw a bright yellow fish she liked. Then we had to go to another meeting at the civil affairs office, the same place we met her that first day. Our guide was very good to explain to her what was going to happen. That morning she was chattering away at me and I caught Mama, baba, fei ji which is airplane. I think she thought we were leaving to go home! But Helen explained to her. When we got to the office I could tell she was very anxious, and she wanted Mark to carry her. (Mark: As soon as she recognized the big room where she had her meltdown the day before, her whole body changed and she was really clutching me. Thankfully, we didn't have to spend much time in that room. She also got very scared when we went to another room to have our photo taken all together for some document. I'm sure that she recognized a staff person from the day before.) But soon, she and Lilla started coloring and we were only there about an hour and everything was okay.

If you need ideas about things to take to China when you adopt a 5 year old girl, may I suggest stickers, Color Wonder with princesses or Tinkerbell, sunglasses, bubbles and stacking cups (forgot those!! - later on that) and of course a cell phone that looks real and is annoyingly loud.

After that, we went to a shopping center where Lilla picked out some black patent shoes and a frilly pink dress. Song Yi chose Hello Kitty tennis shoes, Minnie Mouse flip flops and 2 shorts outfits. (Mark: Going shopping is one of those things that makes you understand how cheap and plentiful (hello, 1 billion+ people) labor is in this country. In every tiny department of the shopping center, there were one or two individual staff people. They are just standing, waiting for you to come to their department, or they are busy with some trivial task. Staff people outnumbered shoppers by 4 to one, if not more. It's insane.) Lilla couldn't find more shoes she wanted so we said we'd try later elsewhere. Song Yi was being very standoffish to me and not letting me touch her. She was all about daddy. I am sure I did something to offend her. Remember the pictures of her we first got in the fancy dresses? When she gets her feelings hurt or really doesn't want to do something, boy, you know it! That look says it all.

We came back to the room and the girls took naps. Then we had snacks and played inside because it was raining. I hate to admit it, but I don't really like playing. I know that sounds terrible (and I really do play sometimes--my eye may be on the clock), but I like to read books to people, watch movies with them, chat, play games, do crafts...Actual playing is not often in my repertoire because once you have more than one kid, they play together - but we have PLAYED. Song Yi loves to be silly, splash water, hide, blow bubbles, do gymnastics on you, play ball, stacking cups, pretty constantly....so I am doing it and it is actually pretty fun. I have never had to win someone over before or gain their trust, but I know that is what we are doing with her. So we are trying to follow her lead and play.

We walked to a wet, humid park (well, someone's feet didn't really touch the ground...(Mark: yeah, tell me about it. My right arm is about to fall off.)) and did bubbles and then we went to 7-11 and got ice cream. Song Yi got Mark to eat all of hers because she only wanted the cone. Noodles in the room, very long bath with bath crayons and then bed. Song Yi and I sat and read a book and it dawned on me why she kept starting at the back of the book--that's how they read in China! We looked at a coffee table book about fancy food while Lilla and Mark watched a video. I got an earful! I think she was saying Daddy likes this, big brothers like this, mama likes this and Lilla likes this. Chatter chatter chatter. She doesn't seem too frustrated that we don't understand her. If she really needs something she can show us, otherwise we smile and nod and talk back to her in English. She also has said sticker, here ya go and boat. Today at lunch she said wo bu yao water. :-) They went to bed fine. I am so glad!

This morning Lilla woke us all up at 6am. So we got ready for breakfast quickly and saw the fish being fed. It was so early the hotel waterfall wasn't even on yet. After that we went to look at the pool. Oh, she now says pool. Mark had been carrying her a lot and Lilla was getting sad. We were all walking and Lilla asked to be carried so Mark said okay and I went to pick up Song Yi. Uh oh. She was NOT happy. It was like a dark cloud passing over the sun. Usually she is all smiles, or sometimes just serious but this was dark. So Mark talked to them and said he loved her and he loved Lilla. We said it in Chinese. He sat and held Lilla a little bit and talked and tried to hug Song Yi too but no way, she wasn't having it. She didn't cry but that would have been better than that look. (Mark: actually, when I was trying to talk to her again, she turned her face and I could see her lip curl and she was definitely fighting back tears. She didn't cry, though. I was about to.) We walked on and when Mark put Lilla down he picked her up and by the time we came upstairs and started hitting the beach balls, the Song Yi sun came out again. Whew. At least she doesn't hold a grudge. (Mark: I don't think it was holding a grudge, but it's learning that mommy and daddy have enough love for Lilla and Song Yi, both. Oh, and Jake and Landon, too, but I guess we'll fight that battle some other day... )

Then we Skyped the boys and got to talk to Jake, Landon, granddaddy and Riley. We tried to talk more but Song Yi was yelling something over and over again, being silly. By her look and motions at me, I think it was get out of here! She was sitting on daddy's lap. Kind of nice to have people fighting over Mark :-) Then she and I started doing some spinning, dunking, wrestling play (which makes me sweaty and a little sick, but I do it anyway sometimes-- it is kind of fun) and after a bit I was tired and desperate for a new idea. Lilla was dancing and coloring but on the verge of getting her hackles up. So I pointed to my pink toenails and then to Song Yi's. Boy, did she light up. She couldn't move fast enough! She wanted her toes and fingers done. She showed me every spot I missed and was very still the whole time. Lilla also had all of hers done and then we went to the pool.

I tried playing with Lilla in the big pool, but it was too deep for shorties like me. So we found an adjoining baby pool and got in there. Song Yi wouldn't get in the big one, but she LOVED the little one. (Mark: well, she eventually warmed up to it. It was very obvious that she had never played in a pool before, even a baby pool. She was very cautious getting in the water and unsure of her steps. I wish we could have taken pictures or video, but the pool rules say NO CAMERAS and the pool attendants were very quick to chastise rule breakers...) She confiscated a baby's stacking cups (the baby had two left and the mom said go ahead) and went to work. For 45 minutes, she poured water from a water bottle filled by her slaves (me and later Lilla) again and again and again. Then the stacking cups drained through little holes and she did it again and again and again. Finally the original cup owners had to go but said we could keep the cups and leave them outside their room later. Their baby didn't care. Later she tried to take a 2 year old's cups too, who was having none of that, but finally she traded her beach ball for a few cups. She will share when prompted, but every time I turn around, she is hoarding Lilla's cell phone.

Lilla seems much older to me now and is acting like such a big girl. Song Yi seems younger, maybe more acting like a 3.5-4 year old, so I think Lilla is able to tolerate that. Jake and Landon, you will have no problem--I know she will love your silly play!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Mark: OK, "quick" post with some photos. I say "quick" because it's taken me practically an hour to get these uploaded correctly. :(


Enjoying congee and boiled spinach (it was her pick - blech! The smell made me gag.) a little more than any 5-year old should.


The giant koi pond in the lobby of the hotel is a hit!


After some rain outside, the playground equipment is good for splashing baba.


The ice cream was too cold for Song Yi. I'm not sure she's had ice cream before. She made me eat the ice cream (no, seriously) and she ate the cone.
(Mark: It's now Tuesday afternoon in China and Katy wrote this post last night, but we haven't had a chance to post until today. I have been given permission to add my own editorial... :))

Okay, now that we have Lilla and Song Yi in bed, I am typing this up in Word to save and post for later. Jake and Landon, Lilla told us about 5 times today that she misses you!!

So, we flew to Guangzhou Sunday and arrived here around 3pm. If you can imagine a place more hot and humid than Atlanta, this is it! We were still jetlagged and so tired. Today, we blessedly slept until 7am. Yesterday we just walked around, took our laundry to be washed at a shop and ate dinner. I am ashamed to say we had pizza! (Mark: I'm not ashamed - it was really good.) Our hotel is the lovely White Swan Hotel. We are in a suite which is nice because there is enough room for all of us to be together (VERY comfortably!) and Lilla and Hope can start sleeping in the same room just like they will at home. The president of Pakistan is here at the hotel so there is a lot of extra security. (Mark: I had a very surreal moment at the front desk of the hotel as I was in the process of exchanging $3000 US cash for $22,000 Chinese RMB. The woman was using one of those Las Vegas/drugdealer bill counting machines and just as she was handing me two huge wads of cash, in comes the President of Pakistan and his entourage, security, etc. They were just arriving from the airport and the hotel literally had the red carpet rolled out and the staff was lined along both sides clapping to welcome his visit. After they had all gone by, our guide, Helen asked me "So, do you know which man was actually the President?" I said - "not a clue" and she said "Yeah, me either.")

This morning we ate at the hotel buffet and normally I would not really go on and on about a breakfast buffet, but this one really should have a song written about it. Dim sum, omelet bar, fruits I don't even recognize, cereals, yogurt, congee (rice boiled for eons and garnished with whatever preserved eggs, pickles or veggies you want), French pastries, German cold cuts, Indian okra and cauliflower, eggs, bacon, ham, sausage, tater tots, stir fry, french toast...are you hungry yet?! It is literally about 15 yards long. Anyway, so we ate a lot :-) and then met our guide to exchange money (Mark: We had to get so much RMB that we had to do it in two phases...) and chat. To burn nervous energy we walked around the island for a few hours, shopped a little, picked up our laundry, ate lunch (ashamed to say I ate French fries). Our first lunch try was on the 5th floor walk up of an un-airconditioned building. We walked in and all Chinese eyes (Mark: ummm - there weren't any other eyes in there) turned our way. And stayed there. A guy brought us a piece of paper and a menu all in Chinese. I tried looking up a few things but decided today was not the day I wanted to eat in 100 degree heat possibly food that would make me sick on a day I was already nervous, so to Mark's chagrin (Mark: my search for an out-of-way lunch spot for less than $1 per person will have to wait) we left. I knew we had plenty of adventure coming our way later.

Then suddenly it was time to meet our guide and drive to the Civil Affairs office. We were all VERY nervous of course. We got there and filled in some papers and waited. Then some of the orphanage workers brought in Song Yi. She just stood there and would not come near us. So we tried to show her the things in her little backpack we brought her, but she wouldn't look. The workers were very nice and patient and talked to her a lot. They had the photo album we had sent and even pictures of the party they had for her when we sent the cake, as well as a panda we sent. They said she told them she would say hi to "baba and mama" when she saw us and that she was very excited to meet us.

But I think when the time came, of course she was scared. I mean if she felt half as afraid as I did, that is a lot for a child. She had a snack and water with her and the workers got her to drink some water and she briefly became interested when Lilla pulled out her lip gloss. But we were in a room with about 10 families receiving their children and it was a little crazy, and every time a baby would cry she would cry more. She was very attached to a lady she called jie jie which means big sister, who had to be in and out to do paperwork. Every time jie jie would leave, Song Yi would scream (Mark: and I have to say that's not a figure of speech - she was screaming) DON'T LEAVE!!! We kept trying to engage her but eventually I just sat beside her. As soon as she could she moved away from me on the sofa and finally got up and walked away. When I tried to sing her a song she screamed BU YAO!! Which means I don't want it! That was pretty much all she said. So when we left the guide just said to pick her up and go, so we did and I got hit, scratched and kicked and that was when Lilla and I both started crying (Mark: what? You think I was watching all this not crying?). At least she didn't hit Lilla. (Mark: Actually, Lilla started crying when she saw mommy getting hit. She was very sad for mommy and Song Yi.) I felt so sorry for Song Yi because maybe I would hit the stranger who picked me up and took me from jie jie too. The guide and I just held her hand so she couldn't do that anymore. We were at the office for about an hour but it felt much longer. (Mark: I also felt badly for the other families having their 'Gotcha Day' with us. Their video tapes of their first moments with their new babies will forever be etched with the sound of Song Yi screaming like a banshee. I wish the Men in Black would come with their memory eraser-thingy and take that hour out of my brain.)

Finally in the van she had to sit beside me, between me and the guide. The guide tried to talk to her, about our photo album, anything. She said she hated everything and that stuff wasn't hers. She did not like anything we brought or our clothes we brought her, only the clothes she was wearing. We showed her a picture book and she even said she didn't like beach balls, watermelon or toys. Finally we broke the ice with some stickers and she let us put a sticker on her bear we had brought her. All this time Mark is in the back with Lilla, who finally just fell asleep. It was only about a 20 minute car ride but it seemed much longer! And amazingly she calmed down during that time. Did I say our guide was awesome? She has a 5 year old son, so she was very skilled at thinking of ways to engage Song Yi and include me too.

When we got to the hotel, Song Yi agreed that we could all go upstairs together. She let me lift her out of the car and held my hand inside when Helen (the guide) said to. She agreed that the lobby was beautiful. By now she was not crying anymore and was looking around. On the elevator Helen told her she could push the button tomorrow. We came in our room and showed her everything, the potty, the beds, out the window, her drawers with all her stuff. Funny enough in the van she said she only liked white clothes (because nothing we brought her was white and the shirt she had on was white) well, it just so happened, we had white PJ's, white underwear, white socks for her. It was funny, like she was busted! She showed us which PJ's she wanted to wear and which outfit she would wear tomorrow. Unfortunately the shoes she was wearing are way too small and the ones we brought are too big. Maybe tomorrow we can buy more.

So then we showed her the birthday presents we brought. And praise the good Lord that one of them was a toy cell phone! Lilla had one too. So Song Yi and Mark pretended they were calling each other and one funny face from Mark and she was laughing. It also seemed like she didn't mind being near me, so we pretended on the cell phones for about 15 minutes. We also gave her a Cinderella Barbie, so Barbie talked on the phone. After that it was fine and she was smiling a lot, chattering and eating snacks and sharing with us. She makes great eye contact and let me put a cracker in her mouth and give her some water. She was already saying Hello and Bye Bye and also is now saying water and okay. Then Lilla (who by this time is doing some stupendous attention getting) brought out the Color Wonder and Song Yi said she likes to color. We did that all together a long time and it was so cute she would hold up her paper to show Mark, saying Baba! And he would high five her. Helen was still with us.

Helen had to go and let us have time alone, so she explained to Song Yi about the fact that mama and baba are total idiots and don't speak Chinese so she will have to be patient :-). She told her about her bed (which thankfully arrived just then, a rollaway to put by Lilla's little sofa) and the breakfast and the office visit tomorrow. She told Helen bye and see you later. I was so glad she didn't cry. Then we colored some more and played around with the cell phones. Lilla was struggling and started goofing off, which I don't think Song Yi liked. She seems pretty gentle and calm, plus she is a lot smaller than Lilla. Please do pray for Lilla to feel secure, for us to know how to handle it and for them to have some bonding. As it is, I feel Song Yi is starting to bond with me and Mark but is wary of Lilla. Who knows what her experience with other children is.

Mark went out to get some food and she looked a little concerned so I did some acting and tried to say a few Chinese words (she kind of looks at me funny when I try out my Chinese) and maybe she got it. She kept calling Mark on the toy cell phone. It was funny because the last time she called, he came in the door! We did bubbles while he was gone and she was howling with laughter. We ate noodles and she squatted on the floor and just got her chopsticks and chowed down. She drank a ton of water and thankfully can go potty by herself and did fine with that. She ate bok choy and eggplant too and was very happy eating and refused rice. (Mark: that paragraph really doesn't do justice to the amount of food that she put away. She was hungry!)

After dinner, Lilla took a bath. Song Yi said no. It wasn't until Lilla was completely done with the bath and the tub was drained that Song Yi decided she wanted to take a bath, too. We had these crayons you can use in the bath tub so they had fun coloring on my arms and wiping it off, coloring everywhere. We would say Bye Bye whenever we wiped off the crayon. She and Lilla had fun in there until Lilla tried to write on Song Yi's head and she did not like that. At one point she asked to get out of the tub, so I thought she was done, and I dried her off. She was laughing and shaking her head at me. When I was done drying her she ran to the potty and went and then climbed back in the tub. Actually she lifted her arms so I could get her in. I would love to know what she was saying! Silly mommy, I just have to pee! LONG bath and BIG mess but they were laughing and having fun.

We brushed teeth and she didn't like our toothpaste and I figured out she is used to rinsing and spitting, she wouldn't just spit. And we forgot her new toothbrush, so she had to use a big hotel one and she showed me she wants a small one like Lilla's. I think she is very smart. She is very perceptive, showing me how the flowers on her shoes are like the flowers in her pictures or showing me all the stars on every page. After PJ's she climbed right on Mark's lap to cuddle. I can tell she likes him. (Mark: but of course...)

After the long bath, we let them watch one Looney Toons, but the whole time she was trying to engage me and be silly on her phone. She let me tickle her and rub her back. Of course I did Lilla's too but Lilla said why do you always do Hope's back first? We will need to be very aware of Lilla's needs, too. At bedtime, she settled down with her cell phone, Barbie, bear we brought and the bear we had sent. Lilla has her own cell phone, Barbie and bear too. We will work later on everything can't be equal but for now I am going for equal! We sang songs and prayed and they liked that. Lilla sang Johnny Appleseed for us. Song Yi kept playing with her cell phone so I brought her her backpack and pointed in. She shook her head no and motioned putting it under her pillow. I said okay, but shhh and she smiled, and I didn't hear it again! They both fell right to sleep and it is 9:45pm. Very tired! In the end, today went really well, considering all the possibilities. I hope things will continue and we will be able to communicate and have fun, especially Lilla and Song Yi. Oh and her eye, didn't even mention that! Tears come out of both of her eyes. It looks like her right eyelid is fused shut, just like she is winking, it stays closed all the time. She has eyelashes on both and both eyelids move. Her lip is split on the right side too, like a cleft that is only on the red part. I will be interested to see what that is. She looks very healthy, clean and did I say she was CUTE? (Mark: If you did, I missed it. She is a total doll and her smile makes me want to pick her up and squeeze her - all the time.)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Well, we have to make this short because the computer connection is in the same room as where the girls will sleep very soon (we hope!) Yes, I said girlS. Today was actually very hard. Hope (who we are calling Song Yi for now) was moved back to the orphanage about a month ago. She traveled to the Civil Affairs office with some of the workers, who were very nice and helpful. It is a really good orphanage as far as that goes. Anyway, she did NOT like meeting us. She sat with us for awhile but by the time we were wrapping up, she was screaming at the top of her lungs and saying she did not like anything we brought, she never saw our picture and she did NOT want her nanny to leave. She actually scratched me a lot and tried to get away from me. Everyone was crying at the end. The good news is that our guide was awesome and really got her calm in the car to talk to her. She did get Song Yi to agree to come up to our hotel room. God is good because within just a few minutes Mark had her laughing and she was sharing food with us and chattering. I think it was good that she pitched such a fit. I mean, who wouldn't? She did know our picture and was prepared for us and understands about the hotel, airplane and our home. So, we have colored, eaten, and played with bath crayons. And the toy cell phones have been endless fun. She didn't want a bath but saw Lilla in there and after we drained the water and got dried off, Song Yi decided she wanted a bath too, so we started all over. She was really laughing and being silly. It was great. She is very cute and small. Please pray for Hope and Lilla. So far, Lilla has been acting a little crazy which Hope doesn't like. So far, no bonding but maybe tonight!! Will try to post more tomorrow, but I didn't want to leave you hanging!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

We have stayed very busy in Beijing! On Friday we went to Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City and an acrobat show. Everything is very crowded right now since students don't go back to school until September. I am glad we saw these places before because all we have seen is people! Lilla was a trouper but finally gave out when we sat down for the acrobat show--the one thing she probably would have really enjoyed! Our group we are traveling with is really nice and everyone has kids that were adopted from China. We have to say goodbye to them today as we each go to separate provinces. On Friday everyone will come to Guangdong Province (where we are flying today) because that is where the US Consulate is and everyone has to go there for their new child's visa.

Anyway, Saturday, we went to the Great Wall. Lilla said "we're here! I've waited YEARS to see the Great Wall!" She then proceeded to make us climb really really far! We climbed and climbed and finally had to go back so we would be at the bus on time. We ended with lychee flavored popsicles. Very refreshing! After that we went to the Summer Palace and I mean we couldn't see anything but people. We did enjoy a Dragon Boat ride which was nice.

Last night most of our group (no guide) went to a Cantonese restaurant. Thankfully there was a picture menu and a patient waitress who spoke a little English. She kept telling us we didn't order enough. But when the food came, oh my gosh. One thing one of the dads ordered was dumplings for everyone. They ended up being steamed buns which are about as big as a baby's head. He had ordered 12 of them! On top of that we had "delicious black fungus" (it was!), a whole fish with head and tail, stir fried pigeon and peppers with noodles, spicy beef, green beans, broccoli with about 20 cloves of garlic, a few other dishes we don't remember ordering, 3 giant beers (accidentally giant), tea and bottled water. When we got the bill, it was only about $6.75 per person! We did everything wrong, from Mark pouring his tea into the soup bowl, to all of us using our placemats as napkins. The whole kitchen staff was watching us and laughing, and most of the restaurant employees came by to see what we were up to.

We also got some additional information about Hope and found that she is called Song Yi (song-ee it sounds like). She likes "Bobby dolls" I am assuming means Barbie. We brought her one, so good :-). We also now know the names of her foster parents. My favorite quote from the update is:

Q: What does he/she hate? What makes him/her upset?
A: She has good personalities. We haven't found that she dislikes anything. She will get upset when she is criticized or she can't find a friend to play with her. She will calm down if you explain to her or give her more attention. She is easily to satisfy.

Earlier in the report it says she is a "gentle, thoughtful and lovely girl."

So right now it is 7:22am in China. I have been up since 4am! We will meet Hope Song Yi tomorrow at 2:30pm!! Please do keep praying for Lilla. She seems a little nervous and said she is very excited but scared, like being on a roller coaster! I totally understand the feeling!!




Thursday, August 20, 2009

Hi everyone--
Well, we made it! Thank God, all flights were made and surprisingly we landed early both times. Lilla did well on the flight, we made it through the temperature scans and all of our bags were there at baggage claim! Praise for all that! I am writing all of that so I can remember not to complain that Lilla was awake from 11:30pm-2:45am. Also, not inconsequentially the hotel breakfast is great and the coffee is very strong. Our hotel in Beijing is nice and the room is soundproof. Well, except for one person IN the room if you catch my drift. Lilla just said "mom, isn't China beautiful?" Today we will go to Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City and then to the Olympic Village and an acrobat show. Continued prayers for jet lag recovery, patience for everyone would be great. One note, it is really strange for people to see Lilla, talk to her and ask us questions and we can't answer. I wonder what they think? If they ask us how old we are, what color something is what our names are, we know the answer. So far no one has asked me anything I can understand....
Okay, I have another minute, so last night we walked to the "hypermarket" (because super is not quite good enough?) and bought water bottled by Pepsi, chips in various flavors like kiwi, cucumber and italian red meat. We bought some cheese but it was like cheese flavored white chocolate with a hint of strawberry. So interesting. The store was called "Wonderful" but the reusable bags said WalMart on them. Are they everywhere or what?


Monday, August 17, 2009

Happy Birthday Hope Song Yi!

Although it is now 2am on the 18th in China (don't think about it too much!) it is Hope's birthday on August 17! My dad's birthday too, so Happy Birthday Dad.

We had a service buy Hope a birthday cake, so we might get pictures of her celebrating. If not, we meet her on the 24th!!

Last night my very sweet friend Stacy offered to host a few people to pray for us. It was REALLY just what I needed and was very calming and put the focus back on God. Do I really think I can control a child's emotions, TB testing, swine flu, airline baggage and my own organizational skills? Well, yes I do sometimes, but really and truly I am glad to know that the reality is that I do NOT control these things. I have to trust God.

We sang this song at church last week and it really describes how I feel about this whole experience.

Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer

Jesus draw me ever nearer
As I labor through the storm
You have called me to this passage
And I'll follow though I'm worn

Jesus guide me through the tempest
Keep my spirit staid and sure
When the midnight meets the morning
Let me love You even more

Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage
Let me leave them at Your throne

May this journey be a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my heart's testing
With Your likeness let me wake

--Keith Getty, Margaret Becker

Okay, hopefully we will be able to blog in China and give lots of updates so check back soon!!!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Lilla's birthday and more



Well, I'll start with the happy! (The sad doesn't affect our family personally, but it is worrisome...read below!)

We celebrated Lilla's birthday on her REAL birthday. I am so glad we did as in the past there has been much confusion about why do people have parties on days that are not their birthday? It really bothers her. Her favorite thing to say whenever we questioned something she was doing: "well, it's MY birthday!!!" Try to say it with as much sass as possible.

We went to the pool and partied with family. It was fun!


As for the mysterious cantaloupe, if you have been checking to see about that, here is what happened: Well, if you want the whole story, you must go back a bit. Last year I planted 6 cantaloupe plants and they all died. Sigh. Disappointing but not surprising. I also planted green beans last year and maybe one plant really took off and I got about 7 beans. Argh.

SO. This year, I worked on my soil a good bit. I planted tomatoes. I planted lettuce (died). Then I decided to have another go at green beans because I really like them fresh. I planted about 8 rows, maybe 50-100 seeds. About 10 plants came up and green beans grew!! Yea!

Then, a weird vine appeared and overnight it doubled (I swear). then yellow flowers appeared on it and then a strange fuzzy green ball appeared. Was it a zucchini? Watermelon? A few days ago a tan webbing came up on the outside and we realized it was a cantaloupe!! We accidentally grew a cantaloupe from a packet of green beans seeds!


As for the sad news, there is a new worry in China. Actually there are two. First, the typhoon. As far as I know there was no evacuation from Hope's province. Our prayers are with people in the affected provinces and families waiting for children as well.

But the main new worry is a new CDC instituted TB test. Effective July 1, 2009, all children over age 2 being adopted from China must have a PPD skin test, and if that is positive, a clear chest xray, to be brought into the U.S. Sounds like a good idea, right? There is so much messed up about this!!

What's wrong with the TB testing and the implementation of the treatment?

-no other Americans entering the US from China have to do this! Even if they have been living in China.
-the testing is done after the child is legally adopted. The testing could be completed and treatment started much earlier in the adoption process, so families will not be torn apart.
-children are no longer contagious after just 2-4 weeks of being treated. However,if a child tests positive, they must remain in China for the duration of treatment, until a sputum culture is negative, around SIX MONTHS!! Many adoptive families would not be able to stay with their child that long, having jobs and other children back home. So imagine, you adopt your child and a week later you find that you can't bring them home with you after all and will need to go back to China in several months to get them. Heartbreak for everyone.

A family has just had to leave their newly adopted child in China. I can't imagine how horrible it would be. Please read their blog here.

What can you do?
-If you are reading this and you work at the CDC, please do what you can to inform your colleagues and keep families together.
-If you work in the media, please pick up the story.
-If you are a nobody :-) please sign this petition!
-and not to be selfish, but please pray that we persoanlly do not run into any snags with this.

Of course no one wants TB being spread around by anyone. But this new rule is overzealous. There are many other ways to go about this!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Trip Itinerary!!

Okay, sorry to leave everyone (all 3 of you lol) hanging! Everything has been confirmed!

8/19 Fly to Beijing for touring and fun
8/23 Fly to Guangzhou
8/24 Meet Hope Song Yi!!
9/3 Fly home

Thank you for all the prayers and good wishes! We are getting very excited! Will post more later about Lilla's birthday and our mysterious cantaloupe...