The One Place I Call Home

Mark: As I'm posting this, Lilla is having a bedtime meltdown and Song Yi is staring at her like, 'What the $%^& is wrong with you?'

Katy:
Yesterday (Tuesday?) We woke up way too early, except for Song Yi, who we finally had to wake up at 7am. She reminds me of Landon, likes to sleep, but when she is on, she is ON and fun, silly, with maniacal laughter. But she can also sit and color for an hour, which reminds me of Jake (Landon can also concentrate and Jake can also be silly, fyi). And she likes girly things too, which is right up Lilla's alley. Meaning - she fits right in with us!

Yesterday she ate 2 bowls of congee with some kind of salty crunchy green vegetable she wanted mixed in. (Mark: I assumed yesterday that it was spinach, but I don't think it is now. We asked two different restaurant staff at the hotel that spoke fairly good English what it was and the best they could do was "Chinese vegetable". Thanks, that narrows it down... Katy wanted to know so she could cook something at home that she knew Song Yi enjoyed for breakfast. I'm not real sure I want my house to smell like that stuff cooking.) She eats very well, but tells us when she is done, which is good. After breakfast we looked at the fish in the lobby by the waterfall (yes, our hotel has a 3 story waterfall inside!) She kept saying WOW!! Lilla saw a bright yellow fish she liked. Then we had to go to another meeting at the civil affairs office, the same place we met her that first day. Our guide was very good to explain to her what was going to happen. That morning she was chattering away at me and I caught Mama, baba, fei ji which is airplane. I think she thought we were leaving to go home! But Helen explained to her. When we got to the office I could tell she was very anxious, and she wanted Mark to carry her. (Mark: As soon as she recognized the big room where she had her meltdown the day before, her whole body changed and she was really clutching me. Thankfully, we didn't have to spend much time in that room. She also got very scared when we went to another room to have our photo taken all together for some document. I'm sure that she recognized a staff person from the day before.) But soon, she and Lilla started coloring and we were only there about an hour and everything was okay.

If you need ideas about things to take to China when you adopt a 5 year old girl, may I suggest stickers, Color Wonder with princesses or Tinkerbell, sunglasses, bubbles and stacking cups (forgot those!! - later on that) and of course a cell phone that looks real and is annoyingly loud.

After that, we went to a shopping center where Lilla picked out some black patent shoes and a frilly pink dress. Song Yi chose Hello Kitty tennis shoes, Minnie Mouse flip flops and 2 shorts outfits. (Mark: Going shopping is one of those things that makes you understand how cheap and plentiful (hello, 1 billion+ people) labor is in this country. In every tiny department of the shopping center, there were one or two individual staff people. They are just standing, waiting for you to come to their department, or they are busy with some trivial task. Staff people outnumbered shoppers by 4 to one, if not more. It's insane.) Lilla couldn't find more shoes she wanted so we said we'd try later elsewhere. Song Yi was being very standoffish to me and not letting me touch her. She was all about daddy. I am sure I did something to offend her. Remember the pictures of her we first got in the fancy dresses? When she gets her feelings hurt or really doesn't want to do something, boy, you know it! That look says it all.

We came back to the room and the girls took naps. Then we had snacks and played inside because it was raining. I hate to admit it, but I don't really like playing. I know that sounds terrible (and I really do play sometimes--my eye may be on the clock), but I like to read books to people, watch movies with them, chat, play games, do crafts...Actual playing is not often in my repertoire because once you have more than one kid, they play together - but we have PLAYED. Song Yi loves to be silly, splash water, hide, blow bubbles, do gymnastics on you, play ball, stacking cups, pretty constantly....so I am doing it and it is actually pretty fun. I have never had to win someone over before or gain their trust, but I know that is what we are doing with her. So we are trying to follow her lead and play.

We walked to a wet, humid park (well, someone's feet didn't really touch the ground...(Mark: yeah, tell me about it. My right arm is about to fall off.)) and did bubbles and then we went to 7-11 and got ice cream. Song Yi got Mark to eat all of hers because she only wanted the cone. Noodles in the room, very long bath with bath crayons and then bed. Song Yi and I sat and read a book and it dawned on me why she kept starting at the back of the book--that's how they read in China! We looked at a coffee table book about fancy food while Lilla and Mark watched a video. I got an earful! I think she was saying Daddy likes this, big brothers like this, mama likes this and Lilla likes this. Chatter chatter chatter. She doesn't seem too frustrated that we don't understand her. If she really needs something she can show us, otherwise we smile and nod and talk back to her in English. She also has said sticker, here ya go and boat. Today at lunch she said wo bu yao water. :-) They went to bed fine. I am so glad!

This morning Lilla woke us all up at 6am. So we got ready for breakfast quickly and saw the fish being fed. It was so early the hotel waterfall wasn't even on yet. After that we went to look at the pool. Oh, she now says pool. Mark had been carrying her a lot and Lilla was getting sad. We were all walking and Lilla asked to be carried so Mark said okay and I went to pick up Song Yi. Uh oh. She was NOT happy. It was like a dark cloud passing over the sun. Usually she is all smiles, or sometimes just serious but this was dark. So Mark talked to them and said he loved her and he loved Lilla. We said it in Chinese. He sat and held Lilla a little bit and talked and tried to hug Song Yi too but no way, she wasn't having it. She didn't cry but that would have been better than that look. (Mark: actually, when I was trying to talk to her again, she turned her face and I could see her lip curl and she was definitely fighting back tears. She didn't cry, though. I was about to.) We walked on and when Mark put Lilla down he picked her up and by the time we came upstairs and started hitting the beach balls, the Song Yi sun came out again. Whew. At least she doesn't hold a grudge. (Mark: I don't think it was holding a grudge, but it's learning that mommy and daddy have enough love for Lilla and Song Yi, both. Oh, and Jake and Landon, too, but I guess we'll fight that battle some other day... )

Then we Skyped the boys and got to talk to Jake, Landon, granddaddy and Riley. We tried to talk more but Song Yi was yelling something over and over again, being silly. By her look and motions at me, I think it was get out of here! She was sitting on daddy's lap. Kind of nice to have people fighting over Mark :-) Then she and I started doing some spinning, dunking, wrestling play (which makes me sweaty and a little sick, but I do it anyway sometimes-- it is kind of fun) and after a bit I was tired and desperate for a new idea. Lilla was dancing and coloring but on the verge of getting her hackles up. So I pointed to my pink toenails and then to Song Yi's. Boy, did she light up. She couldn't move fast enough! She wanted her toes and fingers done. She showed me every spot I missed and was very still the whole time. Lilla also had all of hers done and then we went to the pool.

I tried playing with Lilla in the big pool, but it was too deep for shorties like me. So we found an adjoining baby pool and got in there. Song Yi wouldn't get in the big one, but she LOVED the little one. (Mark: well, she eventually warmed up to it. It was very obvious that she had never played in a pool before, even a baby pool. She was very cautious getting in the water and unsure of her steps. I wish we could have taken pictures or video, but the pool rules say NO CAMERAS and the pool attendants were very quick to chastise rule breakers...) She confiscated a baby's stacking cups (the baby had two left and the mom said go ahead) and went to work. For 45 minutes, she poured water from a water bottle filled by her slaves (me and later Lilla) again and again and again. Then the stacking cups drained through little holes and she did it again and again and again. Finally the original cup owners had to go but said we could keep the cups and leave them outside their room later. Their baby didn't care. Later she tried to take a 2 year old's cups too, who was having none of that, but finally she traded her beach ball for a few cups. She will share when prompted, but every time I turn around, she is hoarding Lilla's cell phone.

Lilla seems much older to me now and is acting like such a big girl. Song Yi seems younger, maybe more acting like a 3.5-4 year old, so I think Lilla is able to tolerate that. Jake and Landon, you will have no problem--I know she will love your silly play!